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Joke of the Week

5 11 2008

The train was quite crowded, so the U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a Poodle owned by a well-dressed, middle-aged French woman.

The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?”

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. “Please, ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired.”

She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!”

This time the Marine didn’t say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, “Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!”

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up…

“Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

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Word of the Week – Blet

19 10 2008

BLET

noun. A form of decay in fruit which is overripe.
verb. To decay internally when overripe; – said of fruit, especially that of the Medlar. eg Bletted, Bletting.
Etymology: French blet, blette – overripe, soft.

Ever since discovering, some years ago now, a medlar tree growing in Victoria Park in Bath (pretty much opposite the Royal Crescent, near the bandstand, if anyone is interested) I have planted a medlar tree wherever I have lived – it’s a slow growing tree but each tree has provided me with a reasonable number of fruit each year, even when newly planted. And I hope that the new owners also learn to enjoy them.

A very pretty plant with attractive creamy-white flowers in the Spring, it is not often seen, having fallen out of fashion. One of it’s original uses was as a windbreak for orchards.

The fruit are now, in late October, just about ready for picking. They are edible when brown, soft and squidgy – "bletted". If you are really lucky, you can leave them on the tree to blet naturally but I find the local wildlife love them as much as I do. So I have to pick them early and leave them in a cool, dark section of the shed until they blet – something that can take a few weeks to do.

Preparing the fruit is, I admit, somewhat finicky. Carefully peel off as much of the papery skin as you can and then rub the pulpy contents through a sieve, to separate the pulp from the seeds. After a couple of dozen medlars, you’ll probably start to look a bit bored. Still, when done, place the pulp in a tupperware container and freeze. It can stay there until needed. Meanwhile, clean up and treat yourself to a well-deserved aperitif.

Most recipes for medlars (thank gawd for the ‘net! – information like this is soo easy to find nowadays) mention medlar jelly, medlar cheese and there is even and ancient recipe for medlar tart floating around the web. But I like to make medlar fool – as the fruit is picked in the Autumn, and a fool is a great Summer dessert, the reason for freezing the pulp is somewhat obvious, I hope.

Medlar Fool

Ingredients

Medlar pulp defrosted. A half-pint or so will be enough for four people.
Sugar       sweeten to taste.
Cider       4 tablespoons or so.
Cream       Whipping or double.
Custard     Rich, homemade egg custard is best – like Marks & Spencer sells!

Method

  1. Gently beat the pulp to a smooth purée.
  2. Add the cider.
  3. Add the sugar to taste. The fruit should still have a hint of tartness.
  4. Whip the cream until foldable, not stiff, and
  5. Fold into the custard, in a ratio of about 1 part cream to two parts custard.
  6. Fold the purée into the cream and custard.
  7. Do not over-mix – all three components should be part-mixed and part distinct from each other.
  8. Spoon into sundae dishes, ramekins or just pudding bowls…
  9. Chill for two hours or until ready for serving.
  10. Decorate with a few chopped hazelnuts on top if liked.

I’ve been quite deliberately vague about amounts. I like to have between 20% and 25% of fruit. Other people might like rather more than this. Likewise on portion size. Hey, it’s a simple recipe, play it by ear, why don’t you?

The french call the fruit nèfle and the tree néflier. I am fascinated as to why the accent changes from grave to acute, but no-one seems able to tell me why it does. The coarser french (which tend to be the ones I get on well with!) like to call the fruit "cul de chien" – Dog’s Bum – I can’t think why! :-D D

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Cats – Love ‘em or hate ‘em, you can’t ignore them

14 07 2008

We lost Shadow, our cat when in Spain earlier this year (he came everywhere with us) – unfortunately, a black cat at night on an unlit street is not a recipe for success and Shadow finally lost his 9th and last life.

We won’t be getting another one (yeah, heard that one before) but to remind us of how selfish, self-centred, egotistical and completely self-oriented, and yet un-ignoreable(!) he was, I found these short animations on YouTube.

Magic, absolutely pure magic.

Update: No sooner did I create this link than Simon released a new cartoon. So I’ve included that here as well.

TV Dinner

Cat-man-do

Let Me In

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Ladybird Books

23 06 2008

I was given this link – The Ladybird book of Policemen – by a friend and felt it was irreverent and funny enough to mention here. Here’s hoping that there will be more titles in the series!

It doesn’t really help that we have a retired copper staying on one of our gîtes at the moment and he and his wife are perhaps two of the nicest people we’ve met yet. And thats saying something as we have had a lot of people stay with us who we now consider to be friends.

It’s our Feu de St. Jean festival this weekend – I shall attempt to take some photographs and start up a Flickr album.

But in the meantime, I’m busy trying to work out a set of apache rewrite directives that I need to tighten up my site… but it’s far too hot for that, I think I’ll head for the swimming pool.

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Word of the Week – Lant

9 06 2008

LANT

To moisten or mix with urine. “To leint ale – to put urine into it to make it strong.”

“Urine gathered for various purposes. Among the gustatory uses of lant was the practice of putting it into ale.”

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